


give me a lonely new home

by lovelylupin101



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Confession, Rejection, Sad Miya Atsumu, SakuAtsu, SakuAtsu Angst Week 2021, SakuAtsu Week, is it even considered angst, weird metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 11:08:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30037785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelylupin101/pseuds/lovelylupin101
Summary: Miya Atsumu has never been enough.The moment he's told he's too much, his house crumbles.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31
Collections: SakuAtsuAngstWeek





	give me a lonely new home

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm writing this for SakuAtsu Angst Week 2021, day 4 + prompt 3 "Am i not enough?"  
> It's very messy cause i wrote this at 6 am so bear with me, im not even sure if this is angst but its 7 am and i need sleep

Everywhere he went, the words followed him.  
“You're just not enough.”  
Even when he was alone, the words kept him company.  
He’d been hearing them for so long, they were almost comforting.  
Even when everything around him changed, the fact that he wasn't enough was something that never would.  
Until it did.  
“I think I’m going to confess to Omi-kun.”  
They’d been friends for a while, and Atsumu quickly caught feelings for the ravenette.  
“Are you sure? I mean,  
what if you're   
not   
enough?”  
Oh, he thought, what if I’m not enough?  
The words came back. Well, truthfully speaking, they never left.  
So he found a home in them.  
He built a nice little house for one using only three words.  
You're not enough   
You're not enough   
You're not enough   
But Atsumu was courageous if anything.   
And so with all the courage he has, he walks over to Sakusa.  
He doesn't know why he fell for him, and he can't pinpoint when it happened, but somewhere along the lines he realized his heart sped up whenever he saw the other boy.  
Sakusa was beautiful.  
It was almost unfair how angelic he looked just standing there.  
Sakusa deserved the world.  
Miya Atsumu didn't have a world to offer him.  
So he offered him the only thing he did have.  
“Hey, Omi-kun.” Anxiety flowed through his body, he fixed on an awkward smile.  
Sakusa looked at him for a moment, attempting to decipher his intentions.  
“Is there something you need, Miya.” His face was devoid of any emotion, although a hint of irritation might’ve crossed his face for a split second.  
“There's something I need to tell you.” It was happening. He was going to do it.  
“Go on?” Sakusa looked confused. It was unlike Atsumu to look so fidgety and awkward. A boy who looked like belonged everywhere he went suddenly looked out of place.  
“Can we go for a walk?” He was delaying it. Why was he delaying it? He should just get it over with.  
Sakusa hesitated, before slowly spitting out a quiet, “Sure.”  
They walked in silence for a bit. The afternoon air was chilly. The sun was setting. The sky was made up of a thousand different colors. Blue gave way to orange. Speckles of pink found throughout. Soon the stars would come out. Beautiful constellations littering the sky.  
“What did you wanna say?”  
“I think I like you.” That was an understatement. There was no think, Atsumu was pretty sure he was in love with Sakusa.   
And what kind of confession was that? Sakusa deserved so many things. But what he deserved, and what he got, were very different.   
Sakusa deserved to be held and be told how loved he was underneath the moonlight with the stars as witnesses. He deserved to be offered a galaxy. He deserved to be treated like royalty.  
What he instead got was this lowly yellow-haired boy lamely confessing to him underneath a sky that had not yet set.   
Because nothing Atsumu did was ever enough.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I love you, Omi.”  
1  
2  
3  
4  
5  
6 seconds passed before Sakusa responded.  
6 agonizing seconds accompanied by 6 agonizing thoughts.  
What’s he gonna say?  
Does he like me back?  
Should I ask him to be my boyfriend?  
Why is he taking so long?  
He hates me, doesn't he?  
I'm just not enough.  
“Oh.”  
Oh. What does oh mean? Is that bad?   
Miya Atsumu was offering up his heart only to get a pathetic oh in return.  
Sakusa’s response lacked emotion, and his face did not betray anything he was feeling.   
Sakusa’s response hurt almost as much as any rejection. How did one meaningless word manage to send his mind racing, trying to figure what oh could mean.  
He didn't have to think too hard. Sakusa gave him an answer shortly after.  
“I'm sorry, Atsumu, I can't return your feelings.”  
Ah. So that's what that meant.   
It meant Sakusa did not feel the same way.  
It meant Atsumu had just made a fool of himself.  
It meant he had just ruined their friendship.  
It meant Atsumu wasn't enough.  
“Am I not enough?” The words slipped out before he could stop them. He wasn't supposed to say it out loud. When he was alone he could hide in his house, hide in the words. But the words were never supposed to leave his mind, leave his house.  
The words hung in the air, thick and present.  
Sakusa’s face had taken an expression Atsumu could not figure out the meaning of. Something between taken a back and regretful.  
His expression softened.  
“No, Atsumu. I actually think you might be too much.”  
Oh.   
Sakusa left.  
Atsumu could only stand there.  
And suddenly it sunk in.  
I’m too much  
And his house crumbled down.  
The house he comforted himself in.  
He had built it inside his mind.  
He could sit in it and sleep in it and live in it.  
And it was made of words.  
You are not enough.  
I supposed even houses made of words crumble.  
And everywhere he went the words followed him.  
But now Sakusa had given him a new set of words to drag him down.  
There was now an unfamiliar feeling creeping behind him.  
You're too much  
And he felt foreign in this new house.  
His home was destroyed.  
His heart lay broken on the ground before him.  
And now he had a lonely new home to get used to.


End file.
